Executive Functioning and Neurodivergence: Why Everyday Tasks Can Feel So Hard

What is executive functioning?

Executive functioning refers to the mental skills we use for planning, organising, starting tasks, managing working memory and shifting our attention between activities. Research suggests these processes often work differently in neurodivergent brains which can make everyday demands feel more difficult than many people realise.

Do any of these challenges sound familiar?

Do you find yourself struggling to get started with work? Do you wander between tasks and feel frustrated that getting going seems impossible? Do you have task paralysis when your brain shouts NO even though you know you have a deadline looming or an important job to do.

Often this leads to feelings of low self-worth, poor self-esteem, anxiety, concerns around managing deadlines or meeting teacher/boss/parent/friendship ‘everybody’ demands.

One of the hardest parts of executive functioning difficulties is that they are often misunderstood. From the outside, someone may appear unmotivated or disorganised. Internally, however, they may desperately want to start a task but feel completely stuck. This experience, sometimes called task paralysis, is common in ADHD and autism and can lead to shame, frustration and burnout.

First things first – I truly hear you. This is so common within the ND community and we have to take some time to acknowledge that this problem is real, frustrating, exhausting and so often dismissed. We live in a world that is largely built around neurotypical expectations and this is unhelpful as it discounts the very real challenges that executive functioning differences can create.

Practical accommodations that could help

So what might help? One place to start is thinking about accommodations that could make everyday tasks feel more manageable.

How about:

• movement or fidget breaks
• body doubling
• deadline extensions
• breaking larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps
• flexible start and finish times
• standing desks or walking meetings
• quiet, low-sensory workspaces

This list is not exhaustive. What have you learnt that helps you?

Different strategies work for different people. Here are a few approaches that many neurodivergent people find helpful.

Body doubling

Many of us find it easier to begin or complete tasks when someone else is quietly working alongside us, even if they're doing something completely different:

-Arranging with a friend to do a video call to put your washing in

-Perhaps plan for a parent to clean when you clean

-Join with group commitment to exercise

If you don’t wish to consider a familiar person, here is a website to use for committing to getting something done alongside somebody you don’t know – have a look online:  Focusmate—Virtual body doubling for getting anything done

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Breaking tasks into manageable chunks

The emphasis here is on getting started with the knowledge that a rest comes soon:

Pomodoro Timer — Do more in less time, stress-free

This is a strategy to create focus for a short time – the link above suggests 25 minutes and then break, but you can use shorter time intervals if this is more helpful. There are lots of ways to be fun about this and create some dopamine in the activity:

 -create a 15 minute playlist of your favourite songs

-have a sensory reset after focus with favourite smell, taste, movement, stillness

-grow a forest on this app: Forest — The #1 Focus App for Time Well Spent.

Organisation tools

Strategies to help prioritise important tasks, identify priorities and reduce the mental load of holding everything in your working memory:

-whiteboards

-sticky notes

-phone and calendar reminders

There are a number of resources that you can use for free by doing a quick search online.  The Trello resource – both an app and webpage – offers some useful tools to have a look at: Trello Planner: Focus and flourish

Final thoughts…

Remember that finding the right strategies often involves some trial and error. What works brilliantly for one person may not work for another and that is okay. The aim is to discover the approaches that help your brain work at its best.

Perhaps choose just one strategy to experiment with this week. Be curious about the difference small adjustments make and what support would make starting easier. Offer yourself compassion when things are hard. Executive functioning challenges aren't a reflection of laziness or a lack of motivation—they're part of how many neurodivergent brains work. Remember your strengths, notice what works well for you, and celebrate every small success along the way.

How therapy can help with executive functioning

Therapy can help you understand how your brain works, reduce self-criticism, explore practical strategies, manage anxiety and build a life that works with your brain rather than against it.

Please read a little more of how I work in my Neurodivergence section within Specialist Areas of Support and contact me with any questions or if you would like to consider working together.